'She took me to her Grandma's funeral': 20+ Bad dates that could not have gone worse

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    Cheezburger Image 10380137984
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    What's the funniest way you have date? up a
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    mkramer4 I offered to pay for the bill.. she insisted to pay half. Didnt fight it, but only had a large bill so I pocketed her money and put my bill in. Anyway long story short I did the math wrong and stole 20 bucks from her. She sarcastically said "thank you" and I thought she was being sincere..
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    bacon_butter We order a small snack for our coffee and as it's arriving at the table he pulls. out his Nokia phone. Trying. to make a lighthearted joke I say "MAN that has got to be the oldest phone I've seen in a while". I really dug it in, trying to break that friendly wall. Well. Turns out it's not a Nokia. It was his insulin pump.
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    Theory3k When I was about 20 or so I got a date with a girl who I really liked, she was exactly my type and couldn't believe my luck. We met in a local pub for a few drinks and things were great. I was getting all the good signs with lots of hand touching and the like. An hour of pure bliss went by and I needed a After washing my hands I went to the hand
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    dryer and it didn't work and looked like part of the protective grill was hanging from it. I wanted to dry my hands because I wanted more of the hand holdy stuff. In the single most stupidly brain moment of my life I thought "I can fix this!" and put my hand. inside the nozzle of the dryer. WHY!? WHY THE !? Obviously I got buzzed by the electric
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    heating element, fell back and cracked my head on the wall. I didn't get knocked out but needed a few minutes to sort my out before going back. I didn't have the to tell her what had happened; brain number two. I had a banging headache and I wasnt quite right. Not much later she made her excuses and left and turned
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    me down when I asked her for a second date. A year or so later I found out she had told her friend that she really liked me, but I went to the toilet and when I came out I was acting really weird and she "wasn't up for dating someone on drugs".
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    Fridgecrisis This was in high school. She invited me to her house to have dinner with her family, and I didn't know them very well yet. The conversation turned to names we thought were old-fashioned and ugly-sounding. We all threw out a few like Gertrude, Bertha, and Eugene, and then I said something like,
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    "At least that one's not as bad as Deborah!" I used my ugly voice and everything. Her mom's name is Deborah. Her grandmother was also at the table with us. We've been married for almost 7 years!
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    Oi_Kimchi I went on a date with a girl I met in an online chatroom to see King Kong at the cinema. I was in my young teens and the ending absolutely shattered me, even though I knew it was coming. I cried. Not a lot, but a couple tears. She noticed and asked incredulously if I was crying.
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    I just nodded and without saying anything further she got up and left. Never returned any of my messages after that.
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    Spidey 16 I was 16 and on a movie date. Went to do that move where you stretch your arms then put it back down around her shoulder. Instead I just elbowed her in the face.
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    thentil I drove a Volvo from the 60's. The fuel line and filter would get clogged occasionally. On a first date, I pick her up. As we're heading to dinner, the car dies. I pop the hood, knock out the crud in the filter and then have to on the fuel line to get it flowing again... I wasn't fast enough
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    and end up with gasoline in my mouth and on my shirt. She was understanding, but needless to say she wasn't impressed with the Techron mouthwash/cologne.
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    Marrvveee Brought a girl out for sushi and unknowingly ordered baby octopus. Turns out octopus are her favorite living thing.
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    FunnyButWeird My aunty-yes, my aunty - set up a date for me. I am half Asian and half European. So when I visited my family in Asia they wanted me to date and propably marry this chick because she comes from a rich family. So we met at a restaurant and she brought her brother. He brought his girlfriend. I went there with a cousin, he thought it was
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    hilarious. We introduce each other but it's loud and they mumble so I don't understand their names. I decide not to ask them all for their names. Didn't want to be So I talk to this chick and she is educated and good looking as well. I start to think: Hey that wasn't a bad idea. I actually like her and we seem to be on the same wave length. I start to flirt
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    with her and she seems to like it. Then suddenly the brother says something and they just leave without saying anything. I am totally confused. Turns out I was flirting with the brothers girlfriend the whole time and I never even looked at the girl I was supposed to date except when we introduced each other.
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    Goal1 I didn't the date. The date was just Met a girl at the local McDonald's after school one day when i was 15. We talked and then exchanged numbers. She asked if I'd go out with her the next day. I thought she was gorgeous, and when she said I should dress up I expected something special.
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    She took me to her grandmas funeral
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    -I_AM_The_GOAT- My friend took a girl to MACDONALDS(classy), and ordered food for himself, didn't even ask her if she was hungry. Then she was just watching him eat. There was that story which was told many times.
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    cool_coors This girls father had just recently passed away so I invited her over to make her dinner and console her. We make dinner and we are talking about stand up comedians and she tells me she's never seen Louis C.K. so I say we need to watch one of his standups. Well I turn on one randomly and the first 25 minutes are dead dad/parent jokes.
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    my first valentines date in college: this guy asked me out to dinner but didnt drive, so when I picked him up, he said "youre wearing jeans?" with a look of disdain. then he told me we needed to go somewhere cheap because he couldnt contribute much to the meal (I ended up paying). so I guess I that date up by letting him. get in my car
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    [deleted] Apparently, the date was a formal event. She showed up in a white dress. I showed up in a Star Wars t-shirt. It sucked to be sixteen.
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    RawrlhavePi I had a first date at a sushi restaurant/bar with a guy from OKCupid. He was hilarious and was making me laugh a lot, so it was going really well. I jokingly tried to tap his nose with my chopsticks, but mis-aimed and jammed them up his nose...full of hot sauce. D; At least he could breathe well for the rest of the night. D;
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    tawmcruuze I once organized what I thought would be a really cool date to an authentic German food restaurant, with fancy german beer and everything. Turns out it was the first day of Oktoberfest, the place totally packed full of drunk Germans and there was a DJ playing some way
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    too loud German something or another music. I didn't even know there was a German immigrant community where I live. My partner was not amused by this.
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    WalkingPetri Dish I hit on the waitress. I didn't know it was a date. I just thought we were friends going out for dinner. My friend set us up, and they both thought it was a date. Neither of them has talked to me since then--which was around 2003. ...I'm not good with social cues.
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    cynicalspells We were playing mini golf, my ball ricocheted off the wall, hit him in the jewels i felt awful about it
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    vegetablehead This is actually my brother's up date. He asked a beautiful girl to the movies. They arrive a few minutes early. Instead of going in immediately, he leans up against his truck to chat with her a bit. He's telling her a story and casually spinning his keys around his finger, when he accidentally flings the keys into the bushes.
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    They spend the next 30 minutes looking for his keys and they almost miss the movie.
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    Mr_Snicklefritz Second date she invited me over for a home cooked meal. Fed me food and drinks, packed me leftovers and offered to let me stay the night. I didn't. it up big-time. We still talked afterwards but it was never the same and we kind of moved on.
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    kidkrush Called a girl named Rebecca "Rachel" multiple times. It wasn't in reference to anyone, she just looked like she'd be named Rachel. We're still friends I still call her "Rachel" sometimes just to tick her off.
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    [deleted] I asked a cute girl out who worked at the grocery store near my place once for coffee. I wasn't even thinking, but I wore my Montreal Canadiens sweater to the coffee shop and it turned out she was a huge Vancouver Canucks fan, which is understandable since I live in Vancouver. But
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    I guess she took my superior team personally because I didn't see her again after that. During our coffee she also ranted about how much her and her dad loved the Vancouver Canucks, and couldn't understand why I didn't like them too.
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    SentientDust Not exactly a date, but there was a girl in my class I tried hitting on, and it turned out she was married. Then it turned out she didn't even realize I was hitting on her... Then she actually gave me advice on how to ask a girl out without sounding like an idiot. =(
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    PlamsUnlimited Took a girl to a hockey game, turned savage and she was not happy
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    Sultryspice1994 Not me, but my boyfriend has a tendency to make really romantic gestures, but always make really big mistakes with them. There are two really big examples | have of this.
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    1. He was going away to college (we have been dating for a VERY long time), and he surprised me with tickets to go see a local production of Avenue Q, which is one of my favorite musicals. So, we go to a really nice dinner, have a good start to the night, we get parked at the theater, and he hands me the tickets.
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    I jokingly say "Babe, these are for next week's show.", just wanting to mess with him, knowing that he will be. at college next week, wellll| turns out my joke was right, and they were actually for the next week's show... He got really upset, and I felt like .... so me being the headstrong little firecracker am; march up to the ticket booth and ask if there are any tickets still available for that night's show... there
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    were, so we end up getting to see the show, but don't get to sit next to each other. 2) Fast Forward 4ish years, Christmas/Chanukah 2015, I am infamous for being REALLY good at giving gifts. I put a lot of thought into them, and I give something that is heartfelt and memorable. So, my boyfriend, feeling that he has to match this (I always tell him that he doesn't, but
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    whatever), decides that he's going surprise me with a romantic getaway to Niagara Falls for my gift. Now, I had been working my off for months, and really needed a trip, so I was soooooo happy about this.
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    The thing was, neither of us had our passports, and the trip was in like a month, and the date couldn't be changed. So, I, of course, say to him "This is on the American side, right? You did make extra sure of that, right?" Which he replies "Yes, of course!"... Welllll, I was, of course, skeptical of this, so I ask to see the details of the trip, and wouldn't ya know, our hotel
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    was in beautiful Niagara Fall, Ontario! So, now we have to scramble to get our passports, which was a whole different comedy of errors. But, even though he can be a dufus, it's been almost 6 years, and I still love him more and more every day! I just ask him to leave the travel planning up to me!
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